I'm Gonna Bloody Laugh

The whole point of this journal entry is not to talk about rational or sensible things. Because I don't want to. I want to be on the floor...in a fit of hysterics...while laughing my ass off until my stomach hurts and I have tears in my eyes. This is for my own amusement as well as yours...and if I come off blunt or risque, so sorry. I'm just high on sugar. If you are offended if your dog gives you 'a dirty look', I suggest you don't read or look any further. Because if you can't take a joke, there's better things you could be doing right now...like learning how to tell one. So before we indulge in the laughter that is sure to wake my mother, don't make me say I told you so.

All my friends know I am the last person to judge someone on how they look. But on the other hand, this guy seriously looks like he's in pain. He was on television the other day. Apparently he has a whole collection of piercings due south...if you catch my drift. He has a wife too. For her sake, I feel sorry about this little buckaroo. That has got to hurt.

I honestly admire this guy. No, really. I wish I could be this screwed to the bone, brain-dead, and look this stupid doing it. That is honestly an accomplishment. Usually my stupid moments are too short and sweet to earn fame. But this guy...boy, he brings home the gold.

Brief intermission to break into a fit of hysterics. Well...ring-a-ding-ding. This guy is my new best friend. His doctor, that is...

The truth is, I've never really liked Taco Bell. Gunky meat that smells and tastes worse than my own barf swallowed again ( sorry for the gruesome imagery ) really is less than appealing. But this...well...this just confirms my speculation that there are some people who really don't deserve a job.

Can anyone tell me where I can find one of these? I'd really like one to put my hierarchy dog back in her place.

So many people complain about how the monkeys destruct their cars at the zoo, pull off their windshield wipers, and shit all over the windshield just for their own amusement. Now this explains everything.

I told my parents that something bad would happen if I took on too heavy a load. Now see what I mean, at the expense of this poor donkey?

For some reason this links to the reasoning why my dog is always walking ass-first into walls and what not. I thought it was just a phase...I better check under her bed blankets to make sure she's not hiding any liquor.

I can not breathe. Laughter...choking...me. What more must I say?

Thanks for helping me entertain myself. Evil mwahaha. Remember to be kind, rewind.