Though I've not been able to serve you all up a new story on the platter, I have however been able to guarantee the fact it will be out as soon as I can possibly manage it. There's this thing called exams that are determined to cause me ulcers and damage all the brain cells I'll need for them before I even get to the pencil and paper bit, because of the blow up my intense studying caused. I wish I could run around waving a torch, chanting with my fellow student body burn the school, but what kind of person would I be if I did that?
When you start describing what exactly is happening to your food while you eat it and talk casually with your friends about how cute your dissected pig was, you know you've had too much biology. When you use your wool sweater to rub against surrounding objects to make yourself charged and go around merrily and rather giddily giving electric shocks to your friends, you know you've had too much physics. And when you attempt to describe there's a difference between nucleus, nucleolus, and nuclei to people who only respond with quizzical stares, and then you attempt to explain just what that difference is, you know you've had too much chemistry.
Now you can probably understand why all my friends and I were plotting to kidnap the science teachers and lock them in the janitor's closet before finding their exam papers and burning them. We could even roast marshmellows and make smores! Fancy that. I just can't wait until exams are over so I can start singing kum-buy-ah and throwing the confetti. Lord give me strength.
As for my life outside of school...yes, unlike many of my strict teachers believe, there is life outside of school...I'm sure even martians know the term 'partay'. Well, there's been a lot of ick. Yes, ickiness. And then blah. Can't forget that. And then whatever, last but not least.
The ick is my best friend has been having trouble dealing with some deaths lately, and though every day she reminds me of how much I royally belong on the ground while she sits on a bloody pedestal, I have managed to comfort her through my own hurt from her stakes to the heart. Sometimes I wish she would just realize that I don't want her to walk ahead of me, because I'm not following. And I don't want her to walk behind me, because I'm not leading either. I wish more than anything she'd just walk beside me. Sometimes your closest friend is your greatest enemy.
And then the blah. Lots of 'who did what now?' in my clique of buds. We used to be one mass of closeness...but now everyone's sort of breaking off into their own cliquettes. A whisper behind someone's back here, and a whisper behind someone's back there. Gossip is yuck. It's something you can never get away from...and it never goes unnoticed. Friendship once cracked will always break in the end. And I can see a lot of cracking going on...and this time duck tape won't work.
And then the whatever. A guy in my life who I thought to be gone reappears after he embarassed me completely and utterly with his talent and precision of being a jackass. I don't even know what he was. A friend...something more. I've known him since forever...and what does he do? He decided to show his true colours so to speak. But I can't tell what he is and what he isn't anymore, for the six years I've known him. He says I'm some enigma to him...some riddle he can't solve. I baffle him. He drives me insane. And once again, somehow I managed to give him a second chance. A second chance that followed the many other second chances I've given him...and time and time again the same thing happens. But I guess since friendship isn't capable of ending, if it does that means there was no friendship to begin with. So maybe...just maybe we're important to one another. He's too hard to say goodbye to. So I keep letting him back into my life. But maybe I'm lucky to have someone I can't say goodbye to...more or less one that won't let me say goodbye to them. Because he's never walked out. Ever. I need that kind of support behind me.
The way I see it? I guess everyone deserves another chance no matter how bitter or how sweet they've hurt you. You never know when you'll be the one begging at their feet for the mercy of friendship and love. Nobody deserves to not be forgiven. Nobody deserves rejection.
A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.